Glenmorangie. Team Rank! (MLStyle) 1985 99 Luftballons

Live from downtown Columbus, OHIO on my computer, typed out in words that get jumbled together as poor grammar comes this numbers thing. That thing? Why, Power Rankings they be. Oh, the bane of all that is Sport, power rankings be (and my curse). It's when some poor writer tries to sit down and act like he/she knows everything about all 10 MLS teams. Who could possibly know enough about all the teams to put a list together. Honestly. The thing is the size of sputnik. Wait. 18 teams now?! Well I'll be damned. Last I checked the power rankings back in June (1985) I swear there were only 10.

Looking at the league now I see that there are only 9 teams that have any sort of shot of making it out with of the year with a shiny thing. Mathematically, the Supporters Shield can only be won by a handful of teams (no, my graphic doesn't show that. Why ruin everyone's fun? Besides, I'm sure now I've said this there will be a thing on MLS dot com about that topic). The MLS Trophy? Another four or so. I don't know man. Numbers are for non Glenmorangie folks. Look at my stupid picture link already.

I don't have time to watch all the games. I look at the strengths and weaknesses of teams based on the the players that play each position and my weighted player rank system. Generally, if a team is playing a lot of guys at a position then that tells me they are weak there (or have an injury problem). FC Dallas only plays with one guy up front. So they get dinged for that in my system. Were I an opposing team, I'd just jam them back in the MF whilst shadowing Shea with 3 subs. Done. BOOOOM!

Power Rankings. Fun at first, early in the season, but as the picture forms they get boring. Where are all those folks raking Portland at the top early on? MLS dot com actually said "Add in a couple of road draws, and they may even find themselves in the Shield race." Back at week 10. Honestly. Don't you worry though. Helltown Beer had them at 17th in the league back then.

and one more for the True Blood. How about Byrne going at it with Once in a Lifetime. Time isn't holding us. Time isn't after us.