Braid

Sort of by happenstance I came across the XBL game "Braid". After clicking around and reading a couple reviews on it I started scratching my head. The scores are through the roof? For a Xbox Live game that looks like a painted Mario?

Here is part of Dan Whitehead's excellent review from Eurogamer:

"You see, Braid's creator, Jonathan Blow, has more in mind than just shaking up tired old gameplay conventions. He wants to create games that make you think and feel. Braid doesn't have a story, at least not in the traditional linear narrative sense, but there's a lead character, Tim, and his mission is to find a princess. She's not a literal princess though, but a metaphor - the romantic cliché of that perfect soul mate as filtered through popular videogame motifs. The classic Mario line "our princess is in another castle", knowingly reused here, is more than just an ironic wink to gaming history. In the context of Braid's melancholy mood, it becomes a bona fide commentary on the human condition. Our princess is always in another castle."

After reading that I got the game. Like Mr. Whitehead's review, I too, am at a loss for the best way to explain the impact this game could have on you. I'll end up writing more about this game soon.

The Civil War 360

Writing about a game that came out well over a year ago might be a kin to writing about my day at work. But alas, here I am and there's no place I'd rather be right now.

Word on the street is that there was a game put out with Civil and War in the title for the Xbox 360. After purchasing many game guides, back issues of EGM and asking around (what we did way back in the '06) I found the Activision Value game "The History Channel Civil War A Nation Divided". Once found this old Virginian's pulse started uh racin'. So many questions to be answered, so much familiar terrain to be discovered in potential HD graphical glory. Would I find a game wrapped in an underdog's developer Stars and Bars or would it be smothered in Union hired gun bunting of industrialization? Well. Sort of more the first then the second. I donno.

Cauldron out of the Czech Republic developed this game and Activision Value Publishing, well, published it. I'm kind of strangely satisfied with both parts of that previous statement. Cauldron isn't exactly one of the big dogs and while Activision is, in it's own right, maybe THE big dog having a smaller division of it pushing this game makes me happy because I can relate to that a bit with what I do at work. Wow. I tied something to that there first sentence.

About the game: Let's jump in.

STORY: 3
It is the Civil War and the History Channel name and between battle summaries are economically well done. This alone warrants a average score from me. Just don't look past that. No story in game except what my imagination brings to it. I blame that pesky habit on the Muppet Babies because, I, to a fault, bring that to everything in my life.

IN GAME DESIGN: 4
Less is more in my book. Effectively done with health, objective radar and ammo shown at all times. I can still tolerate the straight up first person view with hands and weapon clearly shown. Call of Duty type stuff, which must have been what Activision brought to the table. The classic stars as life meter is in full effect here. It gives a hardened video game vet warm fuzzies.

IN GAME ARTWORK: 3
Seeing east coast environments is going to win points with me everytime... to the point where it's like being blinded by love. That said... Strange lighting in the little log huts. Meaning no light source -soldiers look properly malnurished, not a whole lot of variance between all characters but this is war so I get the reason. Seems to only be a few poses for them as well... soldier sitting, standing, guarding (funny), walking. I like the blood on the wrist and still enjoy the re-loading animations. My Southern soldier appears to be properly wearing rags but rest of army isn't. Northern soldiers in nice uniforms. The blinding flash and smoke from a rifle is extremely satisfying, especially at close range with the enemy. I've said a lot of nice things here and I can't overstate the thrill of seeing an area where I grew up in a game and it was well done, but overall, the structures in the game hold this back. Carts, fences, character repetitiveness, tents, odd log 'huts' hold it back.

AUDIO: 4
Plenty of good environmental sounds, but kind or like older medal of honor games if you turn your head it's like the sound disappears. Sometimes the sound of 1,000 soldiers can be heard and if your wearing headphones sounds chilling... but so far i have yet to see those screaming soldiers it is like I'm fighting a guerrilla war a handful of yanks at a time not part of a huge army. Your soldier makes a Simpsons sound when he gets shot. Cannon sounds and rifle effects are very well done. Time was spent with this aspect and that gets a good mark from me. Sounds and voices are repetitive, but the audio levels are done right. Far is far away and close is loud.

GAMEPLAY: 2
Regardless of what could be perceived as slow loading weapons and the lack of any effective cover (you'll get hit regardless of what you are behind) the game play is too fluid and I've got a bad case of super soldier syndrome. Nothing slows you down except injury. You can take quite a bit of damage before you go down. It's irritating when you see a place you want to go, not obstructed, but run into an invisible wall. I get linear, single player game play, but make it rational, or give me a map to follow. In the first Call of Duty or Metal of Honor games, intentional or not, I felt that it added to the confusion, or fog of war, now i just think it's laziness on the developers part, especially now after GTA IV. A.I. really acts rediculous when there is no guns a'blazin', to the point where Berserk on the Atari 2600 comes to mind, graphics good, just limited animations. if the guns are going off then things are a bit different. Finishing a battle sort of feels like a cross country run, there were several moments in the game where i really got excited about sneaking around the enemies camp so it felt real enough for that. The environment aided in this along with the historical context but it seemed like most of the game was like this and, within the context of the Civil War, game play could have been sooooo much more.

LONGEVITY: 1
Not much other then me pulling it out to show my brother when he comes to visit.

X FACTOR: 3
I liked it, I enjoyed it.

PACKAGE DESIGN: 2
Standard stuff here. I don't see why 'A Nation Divided' was added. Standard stuff gets below average.

PACKAGE ARTWORK: 3
Nice little painting. Having the Stars and Bars on there alone gets points, but the rebel getting blow away at point blank range with a cannon? wow. um. That'll haunt your dreams.

I'd like to add, in summary, that I am still having a good time with this game. I'm probably the only person that played through the six Southern battles before I started the Northern ones. I would recommend not doing that because it is clear the developers wanted the gamer to play the North first, meaning he first couple are well done, more soldiers and direct contact. However, that all came crashing down when you start the Gettysburg battle as a Northern sniper(!?)... come on. Find the game and play it for the environment alone. Some landmarks from famous photos are there and a couple times I really got into the historical context. Find it used and let your imagination relax and settle in.

OVERALL: 2.67

That is an average.

Civilization Fairey

Where do you even begin with a Sid Meier game? The guy is a legend in my book.

Civ Rev is a neat and tidy package to bigger brother PC Civ game(s). After playing my first "board" I was a bit down on it. It was jarringly quick, I ended up warring with just about everyone and I was stuck not really expanding my empire or creating many wonders. I couldn't even fall back on just taking a rival city and burning it to the ground and I couldn't destroy roads to weaken the enemy. I was stuck just pounding away at their city using brute force. Maps are tiny (and you can't choose the size of them or terrain) and about an hour in I was whoring myself out giving away technology and gold just to keep the other nations off my back. Eventually, in the modern age my nation started kicking in to high gear all the sudden (which, to a PC Civ play nothing is "all the sudden") and I started a royal beat down on my enemies. War, war, war... Me verses the rest of the world because no one else warred unless it was against me. That's all it seemed to be and that's all I've read in the reviews as well.

However.

A few boards later I discovered that this isn't the case. You can't avoid bumping into two or three other nations with in the first fifteen minutes and while you will eventually, you don't have to war. You just have to play THIS version of the game not try and make it the PC version. Every round you have to press the flesh and stay on top of the peacemaking. Avoid extending too far but find sweet spots. It'll seem like cities are right on top of each other, but Civ Rev is a different game. Playing the game this way may make it sound like it is tedious but it's not. Menus are lighting fast and the decisions are simple which leaves the game series hallmark of "just one more turn" firmly in place. It's just that that one more turn won't be when the sun is coming up the next morning. Even playing the game this way clocks it in at under three or four hours. And, btw, you can destroy cities late in the game if you so choose.

Soooo... now I'm going to attempt and follow my Review Structure I put together a couple weeks ago. Here goes:

- STORY: 5:
Like Civ games in the past, it is what you make it. I happen to enjoy this take and the spirit is there.

- OBJECTIVES: 5:
Plenty to do of course, again... Civ game

- IN GAME DESIGN: 4:
Good work done here. Nicely done considering it's PC heritage. Menus and pop ins are where they should be (albeit in your face). I've grown to like it. Looks sleek and clean in HD.

- ARTWORK: 3:
I'm torn here. Animations are cute and fluid. But battles are herky jerky. Cities look ok. Nothing is that impressive nor is does anything look awful. Graphics are not the sort of thing I really get hung up on unless they just suck.

- AUDIO: 4:
Well done. Classy. "Sims" chatter can get old, but you can turn it off. The music choices in the game are top notch and sound great when piped though my stereo. Sometimes, with the sound effects, you get an obscenely loud river flow or an army pounding its shield but it is forgivable. For the most part the audio is subtle but effective.

- GAMEPLAY: 5:
Again, this is a console version of Civilization. Play it as such and it will be enjoyed.

- EMOTIONAL IMPACT: 3:
No looking at the clock and discovering it is 4 AM here. Nor do I get really, really irritated when I loose a city or my first warrior army (sob).

- LONGEVITY: 4:
Many challenges to be found. I will be playing this one right up till Fable 2 comes out and I can see myself picking it up here and there down the road. Also, multiplayer is to be found here.

- HISTORICAL SIGNIFICANCE: 4:
This is an optimistic 4! Because the game works and I think it will send a message to the industry that there is a market for this type of game; hopefully pushing more complex and deeper games to consoles. I could be wrong though.

- X FACTOR: 4:
Damn it. It's fun and I'm extremely happy it exists. Would you rather it not (I'm looking at you IGN and Gamespot; put this game in your first person shooter loving pipe and smoke it for all I care).

- PACKAGE DESIGN: 2:
Meh. They mailed this in and in the title the word "Revolution" looks like it was done by someone who just discovered text elements in photoshop. Why for the love of the Hanging Gardens did they overlay a texture on Sid's name? ugh. The only saving grace is the Shepard Fairey poster printed on the back of the cover sleeve. Why not put that on the cover?

- PACKAGE ART: 3:
The artist must have played the game only twice. He drew the world at war, complete with two nukes going off and a giant explosion in the southern part of Greenland(?). Way to go. Anyhow, it falls in line with the game art and design. Cartoonish. Fairey's Poster balances out the mess on the front enough to give it a 3.

OVERALL: 3.83

That is an average.

Lost BioShock Planet ESB

I'm retiring BioShock from my play list. There, I said it. I've come to terms with this now and can now move on to some other 360 game. I had to do the same thing with Lost Planet. Both these games slowly became a time and energy suck. Both had promising starts then just fizzled and with both the same strange thing happened... my 360 started to collect dust. Almost as if I had to motivate myself in to playing it, always knowing that since it was in the console tray I had to play that game.

With Lost Planet I didn't feel so guilty, but with BioShock I kinda do. It got great reviews, it looks fabulous, decent story, a good single player experience, Todd Brakke over at The Nut and Feisty Weasel finished it (excellent wrap up)... all that. But why, oh why am I avoiding it? Maybe it is longer hours at Art.com? Maybe just not in a current gen mode? Whatever. If I'm squeezing in a game like Wolf of the Battlefield on XBL then it means I just couldn't get into it, period.

I feel like this game was given more credit then it was do based solely on it being an alternative to Halo 3 or even Call of Duty 4 or both. It's comparable to the media giving good reviews to a undeserving band just because it wasn't the band du jour at the time. Not so much that they are bad, just that more often then not they turn out to be a muddled mess.

Maybe this is Great Lakes Brewing Co.'s Moondog ESB talking but... No mas BioShock, No mas. I've piped the Moondog correctly and hacked into my game vault in under 60 seconds to reserve a special place for you next to Lost Planet and Table Tennis on my 360 shelf.

Moondog people, Moondog.

Red Rings of Death

It happened. After setting up what is only the beginning of a video game shrine, I fire up the 360. Then, out of nowhere my heart drops to the floor and a feeling of fear and disbelief rushes through my soul. The red rings of death. Determined not to let it beat me I start searching for answers. No way was I going to let this beat me, not this day... not any other day. A few days later after tip toeing around the issue I go in for the trouble shoot. Unplug this, disconnect that, wrap towels around this, use soldering iron on that. Clear out this file, delete your profile, empty the cache, take down your firewall on your router.

What the hay man? Is this a console or a PC? It's funny about the towel trick, I mean you'll do anything to get it running again. I think this trick represents the IQ of most console gamers. That's a dig, but I'm one of them. Anyway, don't do that. Think. Is it overheating? Yes? Well, it sucks it does that, but take the necessary measures to make sure she can breathe and stay cool, and for goodness sake, don't leave it on for 48 hours straight, give it a break.

It's funny, I just got finishing reading an article about customer service in Consumer Digest and it mentions how a couple cell companies disconnect (cancel) the heavy users and repeat callers to their technical support and customer service teams. It's cold, I know, but hard to say I blame them. I know first hand that a very small percentage of customers disproportionately cost you. In Microsoft's case I believe they are throwing their hands in the air and just saying, send it back, please, stop being a jackass and just send it back. It probably costs them more in tech support and customer service labor then it does to just give you a brand new machine (It'd be an interesting cost analysis to look over). Personally, I think the problems the Xbox is having is mostly due to the user not caring for there console and therefore the effect is not understanding it... like me I guess.

The fix; stay calm, reconnect your brick making sure the brick and console can stay cool and can breathe in and out. And most importantly, make sure she is hooked up directly to power source that gives her plenty of consistent juice. i.e. one of your wall outlets. Worked for me.

Of course you may have to do all the other things I mentioned above too.

I do have a final quick question for Microsoft "Am I going to have to plan to drop a 220 three phase next to my washer and dryer to play your next console?" sheesh.