2014 World Cup Brazil Group Stage Predictions

The 2014 World Cup is upon us. The panel from the "Red Cards in Helltown" podcast decided to make our predictions about who will advance out of the Group Stage for each group. There are some sound choices, some off the wall choices and some were made just to be different. How will the panel fare when the Group Stage matches are complete? Time will tell...

The chart has the podcast panel across the top with each group vertically down the left-hand side. Each panelist picked their group winner and the runner-up. Do you agree with their picks?

United States National Soccer Team’s Success Incurably Dependent on the Fusion of Eleven Independent Individuals Functioning as One.

By: Vidda "JibJab" Grubin

One warm-up game, against Azerbaijan, and the true nature of the 2014 United States Men’s National Team, a team only three weeks from lacing up its collective boots and stepping across the World’s touch line, is an undisguised undertaking. And, perhaps, this naked endeavor is not such a horrible thing.

Knowing one’s true nature is undoubtedly a precursor to success.

The 23 men chosen by Jurgen Klinsmann are, undoubtedly, not going to run circles around any of their competition. They are, though, going to pose a considerable threat to any team they face, if the red, white and blue clad footballers can grasp the madness within the collective method.

Stars and stripes players flying past opponents, as if the opposition is nothing more than cautionary cones lining the edge of a summer highway, will be rarely seen on the sun drenched pitches of Brazil. Speed, the kind normally in high regard amongst touchline bosses, is in short supply within the American soccer squad. And, perhaps, this lack of velocity is not such a horrible thing.

Northern Brazil in the North American summer of 2014 will, certainly, be uncomfortably warm. How teams adjust to this languid heat and humidity will more than nominally affect the outcome of many games this June and early July.

Driving the ball from one end of the pristine fields to the other at a cohesive, controlled tempo will be sought after by many of the teams striving for the world’s most coveted prize. Jurgen Klinsmann seems to have chosen a collection of players well suited to this enviable task.

No doubt, the American strikers must round into highly efficient form. No doubt, the American defenders must be clever in giving only the space they choose to give. No doubt, the American midfield must keep the lines in front and back linked tightly. No doubt, the American wingers must step up and find not a small bit of magic to unlock the buzzing penalty areas they will face.

The first step has been taken. Twenty three players have been chosen with the goal of functioning as one. The next step is up to those players. Will they present a near impossible puzzle to their opponents? Will they find the key to the sacred white rectangles dripping with twine?

Brazil, for twenty three men, is a dream not far away. Blink and the dream will arrive. But how will it end?

Who Would Landon Donovan Have to Be?

By: Vidda "JibJab" Grubin

Given Jurgen Klinsmann’s Logic for cutting Landon Donovan from the 2014 World Cup squad, who would Landon Donavan have to be to make the 2014 World Cup squad?

Given the fact that Landon Donovan has been a highly skilled, versatile and tireless player his entire career, who would Landon Donovan have to be to make the 2014 World Cup squad?

Given Landon Donovan’s infectious energy and pure joy for the game, who would Landon Donovan have to be to make the 2014 World Cup squad?

Given the fact that Landon Donovan has consistently made good personal decisions in regard to his mental and physical health and how those decisions affect the teams he plays on (See: Multiple MLS, Gold Cup, Open Cup titles. Goals and Assists at a rate no other American player has ever achieved. A World Cup goal total, 5, which puts him in rare company on the world’s stage), who would Landon Donovan have to be to make the 2014 World Cup squad?

Given the fact that Landon Donovan is one of those rare players who seems to play with the wonder of a child, some sort of magic always tucked securely within yet visible to all, who would Landon Donovan have to be to make the 2014 World Cup squad?

One can only guess that Landon Donovan, in Jurgen Klinsmann’s mind, would have to be an indestructible, Paolo Maldini like wall, inside a Usain Bolt of lightning, all slathered with Messi goal scoring Blaugrana Jam.

Parkhurst Not On US World Cup Roster

Versatile Crew defender Michael Parkhurst has been left off the final 23 man US Men's National Team roster for this year's World Cup in Brazil.

After the announcement Columbus Crew owner Anthony Precourt, whose investment in the player was likely largely influenced by Parkhurst's possible showing in Brazil, had this to say via Twitter: "Speaking for the Columbus Crew organization, we are all very disappointed for Michael Parkhurst."

Head Coach Gregg Berhalter also left a similar quote for TheCrew.com, “We’re extremely disappointed for Michael, we know what an honor it is to represent your country in a World Cup. We’re proud of the way he prepared for and approached this opportunity,” said Berhalter.

Hopes were high and chances good for Parkhurst making the team so the disappointment here in Columbus is understandable. One of the reasons Parkhurst returned to MLS was to get playing time ahead of the World Cup. It's a life changing decision but one he certainly understood the ramifications of.

It didn't take Parkhurst long after the announcement to take to Twitter; "Gutted. At peace tho knowing I did everything I could and made it a tough decision for coaches. All the best to the boys in Brazil."

Parkhurst will be available for Crew selection tomorrow but of this writing coach Berhalter said it is up to him on whether he plays or not.

2018 WORLD CUP

There is a group out there that thinks Klinsmann is leaning a lot towards the next World Cup with this selection. If that is the case than a player like Parkhurst being left behind in favor for a few younger defenders makes sense (namely John Brooks and DeAndre Yedlin). Beasley, Besler, Cameron, Chandler are likely starters and with only three games guaranteed to fit in experience, time becomes precious.

2014 WORLD CUP

Not a whole lot is expected for this year's USMNT as the group they are in is very difficult. Certainly, upsets are always part of the drama but the script rarely brings it the US way. It took a two goal comeback against Slovenia (FIFA rank - 17th in 2010) and late heroics against Algeria (FIFA rank in 2010 - 35th) just to get out of a weak group in 2010.

In the last two World Cups the US has 1 win from 7 matches, 3 Draws, 3 Loses. 7 goals and 11 against.

This year they face Ghana (38th), Portugal (3rd) and Germany (2nd).

Amidst the Beauty of the World Cup, A Black Mark Upon All of Us

Photo of Sepp Blatter making the official announcement of Qatar as host of the 2022 World Cup

Blog post inspired by the soon to be published short fictional novel Helton Janglom’s Template for Life. Look for Helton at the Amazon Kindle store.


Every four years this achingly personal, tragically funny world we all inhabit slows to a deafening buzz. Like so many bees, our purposeful yet often numbingly repetitive lives find us back in the hive. Shoes and socks find their rightful place in honeycomb closets and on worn entryway floors. Smiles of anticipation vibrate with the hum of unconsciously brought forth national anthems and tightly packed but comforting crowds. The World Cup is only days away.

Young children will sit still for hours, mesmerized by the world’s finest athletes, and then rush outside to magically become Messi, Ronaldo, Rooney, Suarez, Neymar, Neuer, Casillas or Howard. Grown men and women will link arms and sing, before shedding a tear of joy or sadness. The 2014 version of the planet’s greatest sporting event is sure to have many of us twisting left and right as samba takes root deep in our souls.

The true nature of the planet, the beat of our hearts and the dreams of all will be revealed for one month, an insignificant and fleeting moment in the miasma of time. All of us one, one of us all.

Amidst this wondrous blink of our lives, buried deep inside the tales which will spin in ninety minute increments on pristine green fields, is a harbinger of doubt. How, during moments of such sublime beauty, can anxiety force its way from the numbingly repetitive building blocks of our mind into this shared brilliance? Cannot we purposefully contain the achingly personal, tragically funny world, even for this brief instant?

We cannot. For, if you dream, if you revel in the joy of a spellbinding goal, if you feel the sting of defeat, if you lay bare the true nature of self, you must confront the twisted, even when basking in the light.

The world today is bright with the revealing gleam. Atrocities instantly circle the globe, and then, somehow, fade away yet continue. Women are made to crouch as less than, instead of standing as equal. A person’s self as nature designed can be spat upon, and worse, ignored.

Luckily, the place which holds the fingers that type these very words allows the words to be expressed.

To be certain, at times, this place has committed each of those atrocious acts. But this place battles mightily with itself to correct the adolescent need to belittle and destroy. This place is at a crossroads. The knowledge that we are all responsible for the very existence of each other can be a crushing burden. We must embrace that weight.

During a month where many of us will crowd together in the comforting hive, making each other that much more real, remember this; the sport which brings us together, soccer, or futbol, is only a sport, a wonderful and glorious sport, but only a sport. How we use the incredibly revealing nature of our sport is what matters.

Those who live lives of luxury while making decisions for where our beloved futbol will be played, how it will be played and how those who play and watch must carry themselves, absolutely and without reservation, are duty bound to strive for nothing less than the truth futbol can bring out of each of us. We are all responsible for the very existence of each other.

Awarding the beautiful game to people who consider themselves above others, to individuals who use personal and cultural beliefs to belittle and destroy others...cannot...ever...happen. The leaders of FIFA should be willing to put their names on the stadiums being built upon the bodies of hundreds (possibly thousands) of human beings in Qatar. The leaders of FIFA should be willing to stand in front of a microphone and tell the world they are okay with murdering all those innocent people. The leaders of FIFA should own their decision to award the beautiful game to a country whose culture denies the most basic of human rights to the majority of those living and working within its boundaries.

Remember this as you immerse yourself in the sport without kings this summer. Human beings are imperfect, but imperfection does not justify the willful ignorance of inherently evil acts. The nature of what our game can bring us is destroyed when a few greedy individuals sell both themselves and our sport to the still adolescent among us.