Baseline: Low. Machine Head (Saturn)

Machine Head is a game that came out for the Sega Saturn on May 26, 1997. I am going to low end baseline my review scale with this game.

"See through the eyes of Dr Kimberly Stride as you ride the Vorpal Blade through an insane combination of shoot-em-up action, strategic objectives and B-movie melodrama."

If you look Machine Head up on the web that's pretty much all your find (I think there are about 3 copies available on ebay as well). While it is impossible to know exactly how large the web is (85 trillion megabytes, says Wired), Google searches 1 petabyte of info every 72 minutes. 1 petabyte is 1024 terabytes... which itself is 1024 gigs. Come to find out... there isn't a good scan of the cover art out there. The largest scan of the US version is about a 3k file, the UK version: BLAM! Machinehead was more popular. There are a handful of things on that version. One reason for this could be that Core Designs, Ltd. is a UK based company. Toby Gard and Paul Douglas of Core created Tomb Raider but it's clear that on Machine Head they misfired or didn't fully complete the game just like many others for the Saturn.

There might even be a message from the Core Design team addressing the rushed feel of the game in the Mission Structure description of the game. And I quote: AREA FOUR. The calm before the storm. Not dissimilar to being shown your favorite present ever and then being punched in the face before you can get to it. Repeatedly. Little or no information available.

I feel like I'm picking on the game now... but to it's credit it does have a couple things going for it... (see quote above).

Story: 1
The Story in the Manual is classic Science Fiction stuff... From the Manual; "After much consideration and stealing of food, Callam realized he had accidentally become a God. With a chin full of cake instead of the time honored white beard." Unfortunately it doesn't get translated very well in-game. There are a few moments where I asked myself, "wait... what did I just hear from a Kids to Adults rated title?"

Objectives: 0
The action is fierce, but difficult to know to what gain.

In-Game Design: 0
It wasn't.

In-Game Artwork: 0
Nothing to be found here but an attempt at 3-D on the Saturn and like a few other saturn games, it turns out looking soupy. All the textures are the same. Is that a giant bug? A wall? A key? Wait, that's the door and I need the key? A hill? The main character?!

Audio: 2
It has audio.

Gameplay: 0

Emotional Impact: 2
I'm a sucker for what the story set me up for. Plus, I own it.

Longevity: 0

Historical Significance: 0
None, unless me writing about it gives it one... None.

X Factor: 1
It just seems incomplete. Gameplay is extremely repetitive. Things are hurting me. Targeting is extremely loose.

Package Design: 1
It's hard to look past the gigantic saturn case. The "Machine Head" title looks like it was accidentally moved to far down, the title is in magenta on the side of the box. It is unreadable. I think the press forgot to make the other three passes.

Package Artwork: 3
Gets points for being hand painted and looking almost good enough for me to use it in my blog title... almost.

Summarizing this game comes down to just me just popping this title into the Saturn a couple times and then commenting more on the manual and artwork then the game. I didn't complete it and I don't intend to. Maybe I should apologize for that but my game playing time precious and I intended to keep this blog a de-pressurizing from work creative release and not a job in it's own right. So I am not going to punish myself by playing a game that just isn't that fun and exists in my collection as a game that was bundled with a lot of games I purchased with Nights into Dreams.

Why write about it then? There's always a certain amount of discovery involved. About the game, about the Saturn, about the creative group behind it. I spend a fair amount of time reading about my hobby and it is frustrating to read reviews that are just mailed in. If you didn't play the game, then you didn't play the game. Talk about that... Sorry Gameshark... here's a link to an atrocious review about The History Channel Civil War. (more about this later).

Machine Head is far from being the worst game of all time. It's just the worst game I own... How's that.

I'll redeem myself by posting up a good scan of the cover. Core Design deserves at least that from me.
FINAL SCORE: 0.75 out of 5.0

That is an average.

GTA IV.II

As the credits rolled on GTA IV I started to wonder how much the game cost to make, so after some searching... $100 million. After some additional searching you figure out that GTA IV is the first game to eclipse Shenmue in this category. All roads take you back to Shenmue. Shenmue cost a reported 70 million.

In a handful of ways, the comparisons are there. Come to think about it there may not be a GTA IV without Shenmue. Besides the gameplay; the story is similar. Our main protagonists are hell bent on revenge. Ryo is hunting down the person who murdered his father, Niko is looking for a person who betrayed him and both characters have doomed relationships and find only emptiness in revenge.

Shenmue can't really be considered a 'sandbox' game like GTA titles can. Shenmue has a clock that haunts your dreams and keeps things moving forward. Ryo needs his sleep, man! GTA IV uses that gameplay element a bit more now then previous installments. I felt more rushed in GTA IV but a big motivator there was story whereas in Shenmue the story sometimes left you looking for sailors, dropping yen into a Hang-On cabinet and working a regular job moving boxes around, which only made it seem like a sandbox.

The thing Shenmue had going for it was intimacy. I really felt like I was part of the world. GTA IV has that as well, but it just can't compare. Even if I could have, I would never even have thought of jumping to my death from 50 stories while firing off rounds from my carbine all the while hoping to land on a vehicle just to see what happens to Ryo. The story in GTA got to me, but not enough to prevent me from trying those types of things. Money comes easily to Nikko, not so easily for Ryo, playing Lucky Hit could only earn him so much.

Now that I've finished up the GTA IV story I can't help but think of how refreshing it would be to have a game with the same elements, but without the witty advertising, cursing, vulgar talk radio stations, ethnic stereotypes, etc... not that I don't like it, it's just that sometimes it took me out of the game. That said, there is definitely a self awareness about it at Rockstar throughout the game though. At one point even, Niko switches off the radio station, stating that he couldn't stand it anymore. I was impressed. It also made me wonder if there is another game that Rockstar wants to make but cannot because it wouldn't sell. Maybe a game closer akin to Shenmue.

Think about the buzz around a Shenmue game made by Take-Two's Rockstar.

Think about it.

Crown Royal, Cherry Coke Zero, and The Little Mermaid

Saturday again, finally, and what's this mean? Well, a wine making class of course. Fun, yes, yes. However, after hearing tales and experiences about one vice (wine) for near on five hours a guy wants to just go ahead and jump into another. Ahoy! we have a found game. The Little Mermaid for the Sega Genesis. This one's not for me however, it is for my guest game reviewer: Amy, as she picked it out. After a hour of playing I got "This game makes me annngggrrry!", "I must be missing something", "It's not so bad because you can go up and down, unlike Mario", and "You can't follow me in here you stupid clam!" That last one could be related to the title of this blog.

She is still playing quietly at the moment so I will jump in with what my thoughts are. First off, playing any Genesis game on a tube TV is a treat. The Little Mermaid is no exception. It's colorful and bright. The characters are larger and for the most part creatively designed. The level layout is put together well. Seems to be a fair amount of having to go 'here' to 'get to that' kind of game play, but it isn't annoying, but I'm not the one playing. Amy scored it a 6.0 out of 10.0 on gamespot, where i keep my catalog straight.

From what I remember about the movie I've got to say the game really has nothing to do with it. Nor does the illustration below, but both are alright with me.