Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Vampire Popcorn

I ordered me some popcorn. Back in October. Expecting it to arrive for Christmas. I'm sure it happens all the time at work. Some nice lady comes by your desk or whatever selling cookies or candy for girl or boy scouts. I've never really been one to buy. Not because I don't like it, just because parting with money months before you get something is a difficult thing do do with any purchase let alone cookies. But I got suckered in to popcorn thinking it may make a good gift for someone at Christmas. So... for about the price of a video game I purchased me some popcorn only to never have it arrive. Turns out the den mother pulled a scam and kept most of the money.

Until today I figured my money was gone, but low and behold my 40 bucks was returned to me after all this time. So, what to do with this angry money? Save it? Pay my winter gas bill? Burn it at the next Cub Scout meeting I go to (ok, that's just wrong). I couldn't think of a better way then find the crappiest game I could and buy it.

So my goal here is simple. Find the most terrible Xbox 360 game I can. I think I've found a winner. According to Game Rankings and according to what I may find delightfully bad, I found Vampire Rain. A Splinter Cell / Horror game mash up.

I don't know if I've had a better time looking up a game then this one. Here are some choice quotes from reviews I've found:

Yes, you have found a gaming low point if you are playing this title.
- Mike David, Gamezone

Getting sighted means you'll be instantly pursued, 28 Days Later style, and two hits later, you're dead. To Artoon, this obviously equals crazy fun, but to the average gamer it means a serious waste of money.
- James Mielke, 1up

Getting to a stage where the game feels enjoyable is a long, dark, painful road.... at no point does it make sense to routinely make the player suffer at every turn.
- Kristan Reed, Eurogamer

Makes you hate life.
-Paul Randall, GamesRadar

If it weren’t for Tenchu Z, Vampire Rain would undoubtedly be the worst title I’ve had the displeasure of playing on the Xbox 360.
-Serenity Now, Talk Xbox

I have never played a game that so desperately wanted you to fail and hate it.
- Todd Douglass, Video Game Talk

I know games get hit up all the time, but this one looks like a treat. I'm picking it up soon. I've found redemption for my popcorn fiasco. Take that nobody!!

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